How to help a grieving friend

How to help a grieving friend

There comes various different stages in one's life, when they are met with the opportunity to prove their standing in their friends lives. One such moment is when you have a grieving friend. There are many stages of grief and various different factors can trigger the onset. The most common reasons for any persons grief is the loss of someone, or heart breaker. So here is a short list of ways in which you can help your friend in need and become a friend indeed.

1. Be present.

Before anything else, your presence is what matters the most. Unless you are not in the city or are in a dire situation yourself, you should always remember how your friend had your back. Now it is your time to do the same. Big words of consolation are not essential. Some company, a shoulder to cry up on, a silence that speaks volumes. These things go a long way in showing your support for your friend in their hour of need.

2. Try to find out what they need and give them just that.

No matter how well you know your friend, grief tends to shake up a persons entire being. Do not try to guess what they need. Instead, simply ask them. Communication is always key. Try to get them what they want. This is the best medicine anyone can prescribe for a process of grieving.

3. Be understanding.

The cause for their grief underlines a valuable principle in determining how they are most likely to react. Recognise this factor. Is the grief caused by a prolonged experience, or was it a surprise that jumped on them out of nowhere? It is often seen that when people are expecting the grief or are prepared to face it, they face it better and come out of it head-strong. However, if it is something unexpected, it is more likely that they will be distraught and it would take quite a bit of effort to confront the truth and accept it wholeheartedly.

4. Give them enough time and acknowledge that everyone is different.

There are various stages of grieving. Learn about them and try to recognise them. An aggrieved person may often fluctuate amongst the various stages. Give them their space. Do not try to rush through the process of healing. Even if you have been in a similar situation, DO NOT try to give uncalled for advice. You, of all the people, should fathom how helpless they must be feeling. Their vulnerability does not need a reminder of how strong they are as individuals.

5. Do not walk away.

It is very easy to feel frustrated when you do not know what you can do to help someone that you love. This is the tricky part. They have already lost someone they loved. They feel miserable and lonely. Your presence will most likely go unnoticed at the given point of time, as they cope with the fact that a dear one has parted ways forever. However, just because they say that they do not want any thing or that they want to be left alone, do not take them on face value. Stay calm and stay by them. Drop by regularly. Let them know they cannot push you away. Fight for your friendship, but do not pick a fight with them.

6. Break the monotony.

It takes everyone their own sweet time to settle back down. Many a times there is no going back to the old. They just have to find their way through the new. Help them out in this process. This might seem like the most tedious task, but take them out. Get them distracted, perhaps involve them in a project. The best way at times to face a pain is by not letting it overwhelm ones entire being. Despite all of this, the most important thing to keep in mind is the fact that the grief belongs to your friend. Irrespective of how close a friend you are, do not make this about you. This is one of those moments when your friend needs you and it is your chance to rise to the occasion.

At the end of it all, you will both walk away knowing that no matter what, you have got each others back always.


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Rachel Joyner

Rachel lives in San Diedo, CA with her husband of 20 years. She is a businesswoman that managing multiple small business and always find ways to spend time with her kids.

About The Author